Do you want to improve your target language? Think!

Thinking in a foreign language is an important step in the long road that is fluency in a foreign language. Thinking in the language you are learning is not necessarily easy, but it’s something you can practice at any time of the day. Thinking in the language you’re trying to learn is one of the easiest ways to review the vocabulary and grammatical patterns you’ve recently acquired. Plus, by actually forcing your brain to think in a language it is not used to think in, you’ll also help activate the newly-acquired information by giving you a real-life use for it. Another great reason to practice thinking in a foreign language is that you will make decisions that will tend to be less biased, more analytic, and more systematic. A foreign language provides “psychological distance”. So by thinking in a foreign language you will not only be jump-starting your skills in that language, but you’ll also make smarter decisions. Many people approach language learning in a “confined” manner. They see language learning as something to be “studied” or “learned” during a certain period of time during the day/week, and then everything else they do is somehow totally unrelated to the language they are learning.

There is no need to go abroad to immerse oneself in a foreign language. So how can you actually start thinking in a foreign language?

1: Create a “target language environment”. The idea is to surround yourself as much as possible with the target language. Computer settings – News – Music – Videos.

2: Look around your room, your neighborhood, and your workplace and start making a conscious effort to describe things around you in your target language. See it as a game, something to enjoy doing. As you begin to increase your vocabulary little by little, start gradually increasing the complexity of your thoughts by making phrases and by describing what’s going on around you.

3: As you go about your day try to think through some typical conversations you would normally have in your native tongue. That’s an extremely useful way to quickly gain useful vocabulary that you know you are likely to use in everyday situations.

4: Speak to yourself. Aside from being useful in organizing your thoughts, it also allows you to practice pronunciation. If you do the same, you’ll kill two birds with one stone and be able to connect with other members of the language learning community. Make the foreign language a part of your life.

5: Change the language of your phone to the language you are learning. At first it will be really uncomfortable, but the necessity to understand your phone’s function will soon be strong enough so that you’ll have no choice but to remember a whole lot of new words and become proficient in using your cell phone in a foreign language.  

6: Watch movies in the target language. When you watch movies in your own language, try to watch them with subtitles in your target language. This will also tremendously help to increase your reading speed.

7: Install Windows on your computer in your target language. Just as with a cell phone, it will be really uncomfortable at first, but you’ll get used to it eventually.

8: Meet friends who speak your target language. Join a local club, a website, volunteering. Whatever you do, remember you have dozens of ways to get to speak in your target language.

By implementing only a few of the many tips, you will see, within a short period of time, a dramatic change in your fluency and in your ability to think in your target language. See it as a game, and as a way of pushing yourself and making language learning more than something that needs to be “studied”.

Remember: It’s always about having fun!

Do you know your EQ?

Decades of research now point to Emotional Intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90 percent of top performers have high emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results. Its intangible nature makes it difficult to measure and to know what to do to improve it if you’re lacking.

You have a high EQ (Emotional Quotient) if you…

…have a robust emotional vocabulary.

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. A research shows that only 36 percent of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions. People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

…are curious about people.

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

…embrace change.

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.

…know your strengths and weaknesses.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed. Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and how to lean into and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

…are a good judge of character.

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, to know what they’re about, and to understand what they’re going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character. People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.

…are difficult to offend.

If you have a firm grasp of who you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.

…know how to say no.

Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification and avoid impulsive action. A research shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is a major self-control challenge for many people, but “No” is a powerful word that you should unafraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

…let go of mistakes.

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

…give and expect nothing in return.

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.

…don’t hold grudges.

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

…neutralize toxic people.

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. But high-EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

…don’t seek perfection.

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

…appreciate what you have.

Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood by reducing the stress hormone cortisol. Research found that people who work daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experience improved mood, energy, and physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol play a major role in this.

…disconnect.

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an email break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an email with the power to bring your thinking back to work can drop onto your phone at any moment.

…limit your caffeine intake.

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, which is the primary source of a fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt email. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.

…get enough sleep.

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough–or the right kind–of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.

…stop negative self-talk in its tracks.

The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that: thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

…won’t let anyone limit your joy.

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

So, high or low EQ?

Per essere creativi bisogna stare da soli.

Sempre più studi condotti da esperti di sociologia, psicologia e neuroscienza confermano che lo stare da soli è imprescindibile prerogativa delle menti più brillanti e creative. Così si spiegherebbe perché molti leader finiscano per condurre una vita da single e perché la maggior parte dei più grandi geni della storia abbiano partorito le loro scoperte nel chiuso di una stanza. In perfetta solitudine. Se, infatti, vivere da single, per alcuni versi, previene, come è ovvio, gli attriti e permette di gestire in autonomia spazi e tempi, quello della gestione della casa non è il solo ambito che trarrebbe beneficio dall'essere soli. Vivere da soli significa anche godere di relazioni di qualità. Ci sono anche studi che dicono che la solitudine faciliti lo sviluppo dell'empatia. Uno studio ha determinato che è più probabile che le persone oltre i 35 anni che vivono da sole si concedano una serata con gli amici, rispetto a quelle che vivono con il proprio partner. Questo accade anche per le persone anziane che vivono da sole: hanno una vasta rete sociale. Le persone sono esseri sociali, ma dopo aver trascorso la giornata circondate da persone, da una riunione all'altra, attente ai social network e agli smartphone, iperattive, la solitudine fornisce uno spazio per il riposo ristoratore. Uno dei risultati più sorprendenti è che la solitudine è alla base della creatività, dell'innovazione e della buona leadership. Uno studio ha rilevato che gli adolescenti che non sopportano la solitudine non sono in grado di sviluppare talento creativo. Sembra che la ricchezza creativa venga dalla solitudine e dalla pratica dell’introversione. Essere introversi non è una cosa negativa. La solitudine è l'ingrediente fondamentale della creatività. Le società occidentali hanno dimenticato la potenza della vita contemplativa in assoluta solitudine.

Uomini che sognate una donna forte accanto, pensateci...

Frequentare una donna forte, che ha il pieno controllo della sua vita, è un'esperienza da cui si può imparare tanto ma ci sono alcune cose che bisognerebbe tenere conto. Per esempio che a lei non piacciono...

Le sdolcinature!

Non bisogna girare intorno agli argomenti ma andare dritti al punto, perché lei farà lo stesso con noi. Se c'è qualcosa che la infastidisce, sapremo subito di cosa si tratta. È una che risolve problemi e vuole che facciamo lo stesso anche noi.

I messaggini!

La donna di questo tipo è un’ottima comunicatrice e le sottili sfumature dei messaggi non cambieranno questo dato di fatto. Certo, qualche messaggio durante la giornata andrà bene, ma la nostra principale forma di comunicazione dovrà essere fatta di telefonate o conversazioni dal vivo. Giustamente!

Le buffonate!

Lasciamo perdere le nostre spacconerie. Ogni tentativo adolescenziale di farla ingelosire con un'altra ci si ritorcerà contro. La donna forte non si ingelosisce perché è abbastanza sicura di sè stessa da sapere cosa (e chi) vale il loro tempo. Se vuole impegnarsi con noi, si aspetterà lo stesso in cambio.

Le conversazioni stupide!

La donna forte è matura e saggia, appassionata e ben istruita. Cerca conversazioni vere su argomenti reali. La sua mente è sempre concentrata sulle cose davvero importanti. Se desideriamo la sua attenzione, dobbiamo tenere il passo.

Gli indecisi!

Probabilmente ha un lavoro stressante e passa le sue giornate a prendere decisioni e affrontare le persone. Se pensiamo di passare la serata all'insegna delle indecisioni su dove cenare, allora ci siamo scelti la preda sbagliata. Lei ci vuole decisi.

Le mancanze di rispetto!

Con nessuna donna andrebbe fatto. La donna forte è coraggiosa, sicura e sa cosa vuole. Non vuole avere accanto qualcuno che la maltratta o le manca di rispetto.

I vaghi!

Se diciamo che faremo una cosa, che la coinvolga o meno, dobbiamo essere responsabili e coerenti.

I demotivati!

Per uscire con una donna forte, dobbiamo farci carico di alcune cose. Essa vive la sua vita con degli obiettivi precisi, ha uno scopo e una sua visione del futuro. Se ha scelto di condividere la sua vita con noi, la sua indole ambiziosa, ci contagerà.

Gli sleali!

La donne forte è leale. Si aspetta onestà e impegno, ma ci ricambierà con la stessa passione che essa impiega in ogni ambito della sua vita. Non troveremo mai una persona più affidabile di una donna forte ed indipendente. Perché? Perché sceglie cosa vuole dalla vita e se lo tiene stretto quando lo ha ottenuto. Se ha scelto noi, ci darà tutto.

Gli apatici!

La donna forte ha vissuto la sua vita con passione ed entusiasmo. Nel suo cammino ha coltivato hobby, interessi e ha avuto esperienze uniche. Inoltre, ha già stilato una lista di cose che vuole fare in futuro, che vorrà condividere con noi.

Gli annoiati!

Quando stiamo con una donne forte, non esiste la noia. E' sempre in movimento. Le iniziative personali sono all’ordine del giorno.

Infine, ogni persona motivata, ambiziosa e intelligente desidera una vita piena. Avere obiettivi, sogni e aspettative per il futuro. Non c'è nulla di meglio di sapere che una donna forte al nostro fianco condividerà la nostra ambizione e i nostri sforzi. La donna forte vive le vita desiderosa di prendere il meglio di ciò che ha da offrire; ama profondamente e ci spronerà a diventare la migliore versione possibile di noi stessi. Una vera e propria compagna, una complice, una nostra pari.

Allora?