Hearing is a natural skill that we all can do, however
not everyone remains present the whole time someone is talking. That is Listening.
When someone else is talking to us, our minds tend to wander and many of
us start to think of our response. During this operation, our brain is not
capable to absorb the information of our interlocutor.
Our emotions can also interfere with our ability to listen. Sometimes
many of us misinterpret what someone is saying because we think that they
saying something hurtful or uncalled for. Thanks to evolution, our brain is
always looking for threats.
A good conversation has to be friendly, positive and instructive.
Through ‘Active Listening’, we take a step back from our preconceived
notions and focus fully on what the person is saying without judging them.
However, to achieve that we have to modify some bad habits.
The first bad habit we need to avoid is when we prepare our answer
before they have finished speaking. Instead, let us try to be more spontaneous
and take our time to speak. Just focus on their words without judging.
The second bad habit is getting distracted. When we find ourselves a little
bored in the conversation, our minds wander all the time. It is almost natural.
Let us try to focus on the present moment, on the words they are speaking and
when our mind drifts, simply return our focus back to what they are saying.
The third bad habit is judging. When we listen to others speak, we
naturally put labels and judgments on what they are saying. Just let our mind
take the words in without putting a judgment on them.
The fourth bad habit in trying to achieve a certain outcome. This can mean
that everything we hear we attach to our preconceived notions about how we should
do things. We are not truly listening to what the other person is saying.
Let
us simply “be” in the conversation.
We will enjoy the conversation, and we will probably get more out of it too.
Did you listen what I said?
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