We must remember that teenagers always think in advance that their parents
do not understand them.
Our brain develops rapidly during the adolescence. In these tumultuous
years, hormones surge, bodies change and adolescents must face a number of
social and academic challenges, such as managing their relationships, coping
with social rejection, graduating from school or preparing for university
admission. These worries can take a definitive toll on a teenager’s emotional
health, which partially explains why teens experience anger, sadness and
frustration so intensely.
A survey found that teens report feeling even more stressed than adults
did, and that this affects them in unhealthy ways. Approximately 30 percent of teens
surveyed reported feeling sad, overwhelmed or depressed, and 25 percent said
that they had skipped meals because of their anxiety.
Though all teens need coping skills to help navigate their unique set of
stressors, many adolescents either do not turn to their parents for help or refuse
to accept their advice. This may be partly due to the way parents typically try
to help their kids.
Several times when teens are overwhelmed, parents try to connect with
their kids’ feelings by drawing on their own childhood experiences. Sometimes
it works sometimes it does not.
We must remember that teenagers always think in advance that their parents
do not understand them.
We must try to connect with something that reminds kids that even if
time is different, human emotions are the same. We can bond with our kids by
focusing on these similarities.
When our adolescents are distressed, we are inclined to try to solve
their problems, but what teens really need is help developing problem-solving
skills of their own to strengthen their self-esteem. It is particularly
important to teach adolescents how to develop a specific type of empathy called
Cognitive Empathy.
Cognitive Empathy allows us to understand how their perspective
is and how they perceive the world helping them regulate their emotions,
improve their listening skills and strengthen their ability to tolerate
conflict more constructively.
Through Cognitive Empathy, we
are capable to help adolescents to realize that people and situations can
change, which allows them to face social challenges more easily. It is very important
for them to analyse both side of the story.
With Cognitive Empathy, teens
can develop an emotional “pause button”,
which reminds them that even when feelings take over, stressful circumstances
are temporary.
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